Cultivating Connection

When fear ensues, survival physiology takes over, our frontal lobe loses its ability to fire optimally & inhibits higher thinking. When this happens, it’s literally like wearing blinders. You can only see what’s in front of you and lose the ability to have full periphery.  Your survival senses are heightened and your connective/intuitive senses have dialed back.  

The reality is, your brain is perceiving something as a threat because you have the emotion of fear.  As long as you are in a place of fear, your brain will work to try and protect you.  As brilliant as the brain is, it has no idea and doesn’t know the difference if you are fearful of a pack of wolves that has encircled you, or if you are fearful because you are uncertain about something. The stress response is the same and as long as you are fearful it will be turned on. 

Great news, connection is the antidote to fear.  We feel this when we are upset and our pet or young child sits on our lap.  We pick them up, hold them, smell them, embrace them, and either we begin to forget why we are upset, or we realize that what we are experiencing in that moment is way more important than the reason we are upset. 

So, how do you cultivate more connection at home?

The answer is simple.  You begin by intention only.  Have the desire to create more connection and you’ll find it.  

For me, gardening is a huge source of reconnection.  Getting my hands and feet in the dirt. Smelling the smells of plants and soil and bugs.  I believe we have been given the land and it’s important to steward it the best of our abilities.  Harvesting the fruits, preparing them, eating them.  It’s the ultimate energy exchange.  We feed our time into them and nurture them, and on many levels they feed and nurture us in return. 

Cooking with fire.  Starting a fire intimidates me, but my husband loves it. This past week when we had to close our office, we cooked over the fire and ate outdoors one meal a day.  There’s something so simple about using what we’ve been given to create a meal to nourish our family and give thanks/ celebrate that together.  

Sourdough.  It’s beyond amazing to me that something so simple like flour and water can capture yeast particles floating through the air to create a living, breathing sponge to create breads, cakes, cookies, waffles, pancakes, etc. with.  Working with your hands to knead the dough, using your intuitive senses to tell if the dough is ready for the next step. 

Nature. Forest bathing, puddle jumping, creek stomping. Smelling mossy air, feeling crisp spring water flow across your feet, finding wild edibles to fill your belly and blow your mind. 

But, maybe for you it’s hugging one more person.  Maybe it’s writing. Maybe it’s cooking a meal for someone.  Maybe it’s writing an overdue thank you note.  Maybe it’s reading one more book to your child.  Maybe it’s taking a family nap. Maybe it’s an extra workout.  Maybe it’s sharing your gifts with one person a day. Just be intentional about cultivating more connection and the opportunities will present itself to do so. 

Stewarding when the Pendulum Swings

What I love observing right now is the fact that we are in the process of learning about stewarding and having a fresh approach to the appreciation of resources.  I think it’s because when resources are seen as scarce (like money or food), we have a desire to access to them more abundantly.  So, we begin to change our actions around it— saving money (or liquidating assets) vs unconsciously spending, food production vs solely consumption, etc.  

I believe there has to be a healthy balance of both producing & consuming for society to thrive.

If you look at cultures without money as currency, for instance, they thrive because a symbiotic relationship between the people, the land, and the creatures — and Stewarding resources ( not hoarding resources) is incredibly important.  

So, what happens in society is there is a stress in a system?  That system becomes more egocentric, it operates from survival mode and leans more towards hoarding vs stewarding.  

We’ve seen this with toilet paper recently, tickle me Elmos back in 1997, we see it in nations where famine hits and people become hostile, etc.  The evidence is abundant that stress leads to ego centric behaviors, hoarding and hostility.  But, the opposite can also exist.

So, how do we get back to a stewarding mindset?  

First, is soulful connection.  Connection with yourself, connection with the land, connection with people.  This might look like journaling in the AM or meditation, taking a walk in nature, and having meaningful conversations (NOT conversations about people or complaining or gossip or emotionally charged topics).

Second, is service.  Ask when you wake up, “with the gifts I have, how can I serve the world today?”

Third, is giving.  Give out of abundance.  I heard a great quote that “when you take from abundance, abundance still remains.”  One of the greatest gifts my family and husband has given me is giving from a place of abundance and not withholding because of perceptions or concerns of lack. 

Because let’s think for a moment, if everyone began holding on to and hoarding resources, how differently would society look?  There wouldn’t be restaurants, there would be the need for banks or investment firms, and many other businesses.  

Steward your resources. Tend to them.  Nurture them. AND share them with purpose, intention, and love. 

Oh, and I was on a lovely podcast today!  Take a listen here

What’s Good?

Every time we turn around we are being sold on the promise that a program or product will either make us feel good or is reinforcing the feeling that we “are good” with very little investment in time or resources.

Good skin

Good rates of return 

Good hair

A good smile

A good body

Feeling good (with a 30 second spot just to highlight all of the potential detriment side effects from the thing that’s promising a better feeling)

But may I ask:

Since when did we buy into the belief that “good” is the gold standard of possibility for our lives?

Just think about:

A good experience at a restaurant 

A good blender

Having just a “good” connection with your partner

A good job

A good meal

A Good grade

... I don’t know about you, but these things/experiences leave me wanting more.

So, what is good anyway?  How do we judge if something is”good”?  

How we judge something as good or bad is entirely based on a collection of our beliefs, values and life experiences to date.

So, is “good” even real? Or is it something entirely made up by us?

AND-  Is “good” it? Is that the highest state of being? 

I hope not.

But that’s for you to determine.  If good is your set point for life, good is what you’ll get.  But I believe people don’t want just good, but they settle for good because they think they don’t have the time, energy or resources to experience anything differently.  Or something isn’t high enough on their values list to motivate them to experience anything greater than good.

What do I want?  Exceptional. Extraordinary. Profound. Inspiration. Days filled with joy, laughter and love for the seemingly small moments. A life expressed to the fullest possible potential. And I will work tirelessly to achieve it.

I desire it for me and I desire it for YOU. 

my WHY

I started this blog post 6 years ago and never finished it.  I watched Simon Sinek’s TED talk on starting with WHY.  So, I wanted to share my why.  Why I didn’t finish posting was an entirely different story, which was probably why the name Brene Brown made me want to vomit.  The thought of sharing my why was great.  Actually putting myself out into the public for something that could possibly make me look different to the majority was something of complete horror.  It wasn’t that I wanted to fit in. I never really cared about that.  It was that life had literally battered me so much that I wanted to take the path of least resistance because I couldn’t handle anything else.

So, this is what brings me to what originally inspired me to start this blog 8 years ago.  As written by me then, It was to:

highlight my journey to complete wellness after my diagnosis with Crohn's Disease in 2009.  That WAS my WHY, it was small, but it was personal.  I wanted to show how small and simple lifestyle changes can transform your whole life.  What do I mean?  5 years ago (when I originally started writing, so like 11 years ago from today), I had tons of anxiety around my condition, never wanted to go too far away from home, and turned to pharmaceutical drugs to help "put me into remission."  I believed my doctor wouldn't put me on anything that would put me at risk for further complications (as I held the book... yes BOOK of adverse reactions and side effects to my immunosupressant drug).  After a year, I was no better, actually worse.  Instead of having a GI condition where my body basically ate my intestine, I now had that condition, plus a skin condition, plus memory loss, chronic headaches, wasn't able to string together a conversation, and was told I couldn’t have kids.
So getting back to my WHY...

AND THIS IS WHERE I HAD STOPPED WRITING 6 YEARS AGO.... and this is where I pick up now.

My story isn’t different. But, now I see my story differently.  My story is my biggest blessing.  But, my story is no longer me.  I’m no longer the 22 year old girl victimized by her “incurable condition.” I’m no longer the girl that chooses the path of least resistance because it’s all I can handle.  I live the life that makes me feel free.  I live the life that allows me to express who I am.   I don’t live life with obligations.  I choose.  And I choose love, I choose life, I choose hard-easy over easy-hard, I choose to understand, I choose who I hang out with, I choose what gets my attention, I choose how I take care of myself and my children.  I choose because I can.

Before, I lived a life where people chose for me, through my religious beliefs, familial expectations, social “norms”, but that never seemed to fit me.  But I never chose to do differently.  Not until I fell incredibly ill that I realized that I had the power of choice.

It seems so fitting now that choice is my driver to re-start this blog.  We are facing a time in history when there are so many things that are chosen for us.  How many people we can be around at one time, if we can leave our house, if we can cross from one county line into another... I don’t need to go further, because we all know what it’s like now.  BUT— We still have choice.  We can choose love and service over fear, and we can choose to care for and see our bodies as fortresses over victims of our environment.  Perception is a choice and that’s my drive.  To consciously choose to share a perspective that may be different from the norm, that may be different from your social group, but it might be a perspective that supports something you believe in but are afraid to admit to anyone else but yourself, and that’s ok — that’s WHY i share.

Different Light

When I'm in the garden I feel free, yet very connected and have a sense of peace and clarity that is unparalleled.  Nature, for me, certainly is the best therapy... Not that I have much on my mind lately (my wedding is in 13 days!!)  

I've been in the garden the last couple weeks and have so much to be thankful for.  The colors are beautiful and the harvest has been wonderful (except for the broccoli, we will have to ask the groundhog about the broccoli).  But, whether I am picking strawberries or peas, there is one common theme.  Every time I look at the plant at a different angle, in a different light, I always find more bounty.  ALWAYS.  But thats like everything in life, right?  If you look at something one way only, you will always have one perspective and leave wonderful things behind.  But, if you look at something from another angle, or multiple angles, you will see different things and be able to be bountiful.  What are you trying to harvest?

This series of pictures highlights my season in the garden...

These are my flowers... well, they are my mom's flowers that I picked.  The peonies are from my late great-grandmother's yard and the irises are from my late grandmother's yard.  Flowers have the power to transform any mood and these are truly heirloom and have great meaning!

So, I've been looking for an awesome recipe for gluten free biscuits.  They are not dairy-free, but these were definitely worth the risk.  I made mine with gluten-free baking mix and grass-fed butter using this recipe.  I added fresh thyme.  These aren't something I would eat everyday, but they are great once a season with fresh strawberries!! And they were so good, my grandmother, who tries not to like gluten-free things, took some home with her.  

  



Sometimes you get blessings in disguise.  This picture captures the day I spent picking, cleaning, mashing, freezing, juicing and jamming strawberries.  It all started when I was given a Saturday off that I didn't even apply for and ended with enough berries to last all year.  

 

 Peas (the inspiration for this posting), broccoli and garlic scapes are this week's harvest.  Tomatoes are my favorite plant to grow.  I start them each year from seeds I saved, grow them, harvest and transform them into salsa, sauce, jam, chutney and catsup to enjoy all year and not have to buy chemical, corn syrup and preservative laden canned, condensed and jarred tomato products.  These are only a few of the veggies that help me to eat pure, and by viewing each in a different light, I am able to harvest more and share the wealth with others.  

Change

Some people claim they do not like change.  But, what is life without change?  We face change every day, whether it is seasonal change, weather change, physical, emotional or mental changes, you name it and it probably changes.  And, the way we perceive change, it can be either "good" or "bad;" but more than likely change is inevitable whichever way we perceive it.  


I walked out to the gardens this morning and there were some good changes, my red potatoes and peruvian purple fingerlings started blooming, strawberries started turning red, beets and tomatoes took a growth spurt and more peas were ready to pick.  

However, there were some not-so-favorable changes; for example, something has been nibbling on the bean seedlings.  How we perceive change is only half, the other half is how we face the change.   Do you accept the change, or do you challenge it?  Obviously different circumstances call for different reactions.  I challenged mine.  Found a recipe for an organic insecticide, went to the local hardware store, bought a spray bottle, mixed some lavender castile soap with water, and sprayed the beans with the concoction. Now all I have to do is wait and see if it works.  


Another little concoction I didn't have to wait to see the benefits was my breakfast.  I love pancakes, but for some reason was not craving sweet.  So, why not make them savory?!  Used my basic gluten free pancake recipe, and added lemon zest and fresh thyme and rosemary into the batter.  Topped with fresh strawberries and warm spiced syrup.  For the syrup, I added some lemon zest and cardamom and warmed.  Somehow the herbs in the pancake, strawberries and syrup worked in some magical way.  It was DELISH!

Why does change have to occur to us?  Why can't we make change happen!? I imposed a change onto the traditional coleslaw recipe for dinner.  Knowing my parents were bringing home freshly caught, Eastern Shore clams and shrimp, and my father likes coleslaw, I made beet-slaw!  Slightly sweet, tangy, and a little spicy (ginger and curry).  The other picture is of another salad I made for dinner, zucchini and asparagus ribbons, freshly shelled peas, thyme and mint with a lemon vinaigrette drizzled on top.  It was fresh, light and the perfect compliment to dinner.  

Embrace Change, Face it, Challenge it!

Inspired

 What inspires you?  


I'm inspired by color.  Bright, vibrant colors-  various shades of green, purple, red, orange and gold.  It may seem simple to have something like color as an inspiration.  But, think about it-- color is an indicator of many things, including health.  


It has been proven that we do not thrive when we consume mostly colorless things.  A diet based on white sugar, white flour, and refined grains has little to be desired other than a spike in blood sugar and an increased risk for chronic disease.  All the nutrients have been stripped out of these substances, making them colorless.  Sugar and wheat are not naturally white.  


Being away for a week, I had some catching up to do in the garden.  All week I was surrounded by shades of blue, and tan; I was beginning to crave green!  So, the first thing I did this morning was pick my peas, then my mustard greens, spring onions, garlic scapes, asparagus and two baby zucchini.  All green!  


How did green inspire me this morning?  I made my version of "Green Eggs"  (no ham!).  

Left to right starting at the top row.  

1.  Garlic scapes... "What are those crazy things," you ask?  They shoot up from the hardneck variety of garlic about a month before harvest and are an incredible delicacy.  They have a mild garlic flavor but have the texture of asparagus. Two of my favorite things!

2.  Red baby new potatoes.  I picked these up from the local Amish produce stand.  Very small, buttery, tender additions to the scrambled egg/ frittata dish.  Great if you are gluten-free!!

3.  Fresh shelled peas, and chopped zucchini, asparagus and garlic scapes.  

4.  Braised new potatoes mixed with the vegetables.

5.  Potatoes and vegetables with free-range, organic brown eggs and daya cheese.  Free-range, organic eggs are a must.  They are higher in omega-3 fatty acids (naturally) than conventionally farmed eggs, and when you crack them open the yolk is almost orange in color, much more appetizing and flavorful than a dull yellow yolk (yuck)!  Daya cheese is a gluten, soy, and dairy free cheese that is absolutely delish!  

This afternoon, I revisited the garden to do some grounds maintenance, as the dirt was beginning to dry-out.  Pulled some weeds, and harvested some beets, which was my inspiration for dinner.  Purple-ish Red and Green...  

Black Rice Noodles with Spicy Peanut Sauce and Raw Garden Veggies

Left to right starting at the top row.  

1&2.  Black rice noodles, garlic scape, radishes, zucchini, baby cosmic purple carrots, fresh & tender sugar peas, bulls blood beets, mustard greens & parsley, and pink Himalayan salt.  Whole veg (1), matchstick cut for the salad(2).

3.  Veg tossed with noodles and spicy peanut sauce (secret recipe!)

4.  Fabulous dinner in vintage bowl on the western facing porch, ready to watch the sunset... YUM! 

You'll see that I try to keep my vegetables as raw as possible.  Keeping them raw preserves the wonderful vitamins and phytochemicals found in the fruit/vegetable.  Don't get me wrong, some vegetables are much more suited for cooking, but I try to enjoy varieties that are great cooked or raw for more versatility.  

So, what is so healthy about color in the foods we eat?  Take a look at this great fact sheet from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine and the Cancer Project.