Cultivating Connection

When fear ensues, survival physiology takes over, our frontal lobe loses its ability to fire optimally & inhibits higher thinking. When this happens, it’s literally like wearing blinders. You can only see what’s in front of you and lose the ability to have full periphery.  Your survival senses are heightened and your connective/intuitive senses have dialed back.  

The reality is, your brain is perceiving something as a threat because you have the emotion of fear.  As long as you are in a place of fear, your brain will work to try and protect you.  As brilliant as the brain is, it has no idea and doesn’t know the difference if you are fearful of a pack of wolves that has encircled you, or if you are fearful because you are uncertain about something. The stress response is the same and as long as you are fearful it will be turned on. 

Great news, connection is the antidote to fear.  We feel this when we are upset and our pet or young child sits on our lap.  We pick them up, hold them, smell them, embrace them, and either we begin to forget why we are upset, or we realize that what we are experiencing in that moment is way more important than the reason we are upset. 

So, how do you cultivate more connection at home?

The answer is simple.  You begin by intention only.  Have the desire to create more connection and you’ll find it.  

For me, gardening is a huge source of reconnection.  Getting my hands and feet in the dirt. Smelling the smells of plants and soil and bugs.  I believe we have been given the land and it’s important to steward it the best of our abilities.  Harvesting the fruits, preparing them, eating them.  It’s the ultimate energy exchange.  We feed our time into them and nurture them, and on many levels they feed and nurture us in return. 

Cooking with fire.  Starting a fire intimidates me, but my husband loves it. This past week when we had to close our office, we cooked over the fire and ate outdoors one meal a day.  There’s something so simple about using what we’ve been given to create a meal to nourish our family and give thanks/ celebrate that together.  

Sourdough.  It’s beyond amazing to me that something so simple like flour and water can capture yeast particles floating through the air to create a living, breathing sponge to create breads, cakes, cookies, waffles, pancakes, etc. with.  Working with your hands to knead the dough, using your intuitive senses to tell if the dough is ready for the next step. 

Nature. Forest bathing, puddle jumping, creek stomping. Smelling mossy air, feeling crisp spring water flow across your feet, finding wild edibles to fill your belly and blow your mind. 

But, maybe for you it’s hugging one more person.  Maybe it’s writing. Maybe it’s cooking a meal for someone.  Maybe it’s writing an overdue thank you note.  Maybe it’s reading one more book to your child.  Maybe it’s taking a family nap. Maybe it’s an extra workout.  Maybe it’s sharing your gifts with one person a day. Just be intentional about cultivating more connection and the opportunities will present itself to do so.